I feel Anxious, Say Goodbye
Garden of Thoughts, Tuesday Edition, 7-min read.
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I have been diagnosed with Generalised Anxiety Disorder and to be honest, it has been harder on me than depression.
As with the " Bye bye depression " entry, I will comment on the disorder, how it has affected me and how I have managed to free myself from it.
Depression is a constant focus on the past, while anxiety is a constant focus on the future.
In essence, both problems reflect an inability to live in the present.
A constant running away from the emotions they create.
Ironically, you end up worse off, but the fears are irrational and even though you know that living in the present would benefit you, it is completely out of your comfort zone.
You need to take a deep breath to calm yourself, get in touch with your body and listen to what you need to do.
Anxiety and Fear
These are normal experiences that we all have from time to time.
Fear arises in the face of an identifiable external threat (e.g. a robbery) and is one of the six basic emotions.
Fear is considered fundamental to survival because it prepares us for the fight-flight response to situations of imminent danger.
Anxiety, on the other hand, is an unpleasant emotional state accompanied by nervousness and a sense of unease.
Anxiety usually occurs at the very moment when danger is imminent (e.g. when we encounter a bear in the forest).
Fear, on the other hand, can occur when you imagine danger (anticipatory fear), after the threat has disappeared, or for no apparent reason.
Both fear and anxiety are often accompanied by physical and behavioural changes.
A certain amount of anxiety is necessary in some circumstances.
For example, being a little nervous before an exam helps us to concentrate on the task and motivates us to do well.
However, when anxiety exceeds a certain threshold or is very prolonged, it is no longer considered adaptive.
Types of Anxiety
Panic
Agoraphobia
Social phobia
Specific phobias (insects)
Generalised
Separation Anxiety
In my case, generalised anxiety is an excessive fear and worry about many situations.
It is not a very intense anxiety, but it is continuous and in the face of any minimal stressor.
The pills I tried made me addicted and when I didn't take them I felt even more anxious, so it was harder to stop taking them than the antidepressants.
After a long time (2 years) I think I have managed it properly, but it is part of self-care as I can no longer see certain people or places.
There are times when your environment is conducive to an imbalance and the best thing to do is to leave it and find a place where you really feel safe and can start your journey of self-management.
As I said in the post "Bye Bye Depression", I see every pathology as a mental programme.
It's like if you were a computer and you had installed this program that is so heavy that it won't let you install the games you like.
That's why you have to uninstall it and give it time (because weight costs).
However, it is very important to treat yourself with love and respect, because relearning to live is complex and has so many nuances that you will constantly surprise yourself.
During my process, I even had anxiety as a habit, because of the time I had spent feeling anxious.
If I hadn't had any stressful events in my life for a certain amount of time, my body would still produce the chemicals. The programme worked automatically.
So you have to get your body out of the habit and eventually uninstall the programme completely.
It is possible to live without anxiety
The top 3 essential techniques to start managing it are:
Meditation
Exercise daily
Get in touch with nature/take a walk for at least 20 minutes a day.
It's important to know when you don't feel it, so if you are exposed to certain situations and you feel anxiety, avoid it at all costs, especially at the beginning.
Maintain the observer mode, without judgement, and your surroundings will give you more information than you think.
Focusing on the present moment, on physical sensations, on not losing contact with your body is a great help.
Don't overthink, let it go.
As it is related to fear, it is best to expose it gradually.
Also question these fears and make them smaller as they tend to grow quite a lot.
Try to see reality as it is and not to be carried away by fear, but I advise you to stay away from people and not to go back to certain places that destabilise you.
It is a priority to stay in your centre and that nothing and no one can take that away from you, you cannot afford to throw away all the work you have done.
You are learning to minimise anxiety and manage it, so the focus must be on keeping yourself stable.
This is why I say that it is essential to have a safe place to do this work of self-knowledge.
The brain is very easy to train
Think of it as a super powerful tool that you can use to achieve your dreams, you just have to know how to train it:
Small, simple goals and a big prize.
Empowering phrases (but let's drop the false positivism, please)
Trust yourself and your process (spoiler: it is not linear).
Gradually increase the difficulty of the achievements (it's ok if you go from 1 to 100, reach 5 and go back to 2, sometimes it will look like -6 because of your perception, but it's ok).
Question your perception (since there is a tendency to anticipate, start questioning what you believe to be true).
Raise the possibility of the ideal occurring.
Recognise the anxious habit and eliminate it at all costs, and when you notice that you fall into the anticipatory thinking, do something else, writing or doing some artistic activity is a great help.
Have various tools of expression, notice how expressing it gets out and there is less of it in you.
Foundation: stop drugs/pills, have a good diet, good circadian rhythm, do sport (to achieve all these bases took me 3 years but with perseverance you can do it).
Good emotional management
I hope this great list will inspire and motivate anyone who needs it.
Personally I have always found it difficult to maintain a routine and obsessing for a while helped me in a way to create the habit.
There were times when I would add two habits and then go back to square one, others where despite improvements I didn't feel I was doing it right.
The main thing is to treat yourself as if you were your best friend and adopt a new habit when the old one is automatic, slow and steady is better than fast and bad.
If you need help and want to talk in more detail you can contact me for free by mail with the paid subscription.
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Thank you for reading.
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